runners | running with people

On Sunday I went running with a group for the first time, and I found it really challenging, even though these three people were very nice and did about the same slow pace and distance I'm used to doing on my own. I usually listen to music or a podfic and find that helps distract me from the difficulty, whereas on Sunday I either had to try to make conversation with strangers (difficult in its own right!) or just listen to my own huffing and puffing.

But more importantly I just found it stressful in a way I hadn't expected, and that added to the difficulty of the running. Like, I'm used to keeping myself going by saying, "Okay, one more minute," or "make it to the next half mile point, and then you can take a break if you need to," and usually I make it to that point and decide I don't need a break yet, and I renegotiate. But when I was with this group I was putting a ton of energy into thinking, "OMG, I'm gonna need to stop soon! How do I tell them that I can't keep up? How do I convince them to keep going?" I was sure that if I said I needed a break they would stop and walk with me until I was good to go, but I didn't want the guilt of having kept them from doing their best workout. Ahhh!

So I kept going but was kind of miserable for a lot of it, and I think that since I did complain a bit they went more slowly and not quite as far as they would have without me. I decided in the middle that I wouldn't try this again until I'd gotten a lot better at running. However, once we finished there was a really nice feeling of group accomplishment, and it was nice having brunch with them and talking about some other events in town, and...I ended up grinning and saying "See you next week!" instead of goodbye.

I saw in another post that a lot of people like running with a group for the extra motivation to keep going, but does anybody else have trouble with the extra motivation turning into anxiety? Any tips on getting over this? And how do you feel about taking a break because just one person needs it?

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I run sometimes with a friend and I find it hard even when you know each other. We don't quite run at the same pace and have figured out that trying to talk while running is weird and sporadic, so mostly we end up running in the vicinity of each other but not together. It works out pretty well because I get company on a workout, can still listen to music, and don't have to worry about keeping up or slowing down for someone else. We have a lot of practice doing the 'exercise near each other but not next to each other' thing with a lot of different sports (skiing and biking most notably), though, so maybe it takes a few tries to be comfortable with it.

This is an intriguing idea, especially since the part I liked most about Sunday was hanging out afterwards rather than the run itself. We actually had 8 people show up then but split into three different groups by pace, but everybody was saying it was nice that it worked out so that everybody had someone to run with. I wonder how hard it would be to convince them that I'm good running with my iPod and meeting up with them later. Probably easier than convincing them in the middle that they should go on without me!

I don't run with people often but I can assure you that everyone wants to be the fast runner that others have to apologize to and say they need to slow down or take a break, because, egoboo! It means they are faster than you are, yay! Okay, this is a bit of an exaggeration, but seriously, do not feel bad about asking runners of approximately your speed and ability to accommodate you. The only workouts that are negatively affected by going slower are speedwork (intervals) and tempo (when you run a portion of your workout at a pace around your lactate threshold, what you could do for an all-out hour; for your level maybe it would be 10K pace). For regular running, there is no reason to run fast. And it makes people feel better to be told, "gosh, you are just too fast for me!"

I run occasional easy runs with my husband, who is just starting to run and is about a minute and a half per mile slower than I am. No biggie. We run together for 3.5 miles, and then I do a second shorter loop for another 2 on my own.

Heh, I hadn't thought of it that way. What I was dreading mostly was having to say that I needed to walk, but there were a couple times when the regulars asked if the pace we were going was good for everybody, and at that point I could have said I needed to slow down. I really do think running with people was harder for me than by myself, but it's probably good for me to mix things up and to get used to it, especially if it's just once a week.

I run once a week with a large group that breaks up by speed (there are plenty of people there who I only ever see at the beginning of the run before they zoom past me into the distance), and that probably makes it easier to find similar runners. I did have a run recently where I eventually had to walk for a bit and let the others go on and do a loop. I felt madly guilty about it, but I am mostly accepting that it's just one of those things, and I've done it for others when we've done hill runs, or someone twists their ankle or whatever.

I don't think I'd feel too guilty if I could convince the others to do ahead and run without me, but what I'm imagining is that they'd stop to walk with me and they'd be cheerful about it but I would feel guilty. And this route is just one big four-mile loop so there wouldn't be much question of catching up with them later. But I'm hoping it'll get easier as I get to used to it and get to know the group better.

running with people

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