lots to be scared about.

[mansikka]

Ten hours from now, I'll have started Chicago Marathon 2010. There're so many reasons why I'm uneasy about it. I trained in San Francisco, where the mornings were lower 50s - upper 60s, fairly consistently over the summer, and the forecast for tomorrow is 85. I have a cold. I didn't train with any program, just generally worked my mileage up, and decided easy/hard days more or less on intuition and how I felt. I only cranked out two 20-milers in training (did about a dozen 16ers over the summer though). Plagued with a knee that randomly decides to give me hell for a week or two at a time. Gained a good 15 pounds since last year (um, oops). So I know I most likely won't beat last year's time. Disappointing, yeah. In a number of ways, I'll consider myself lucky to finish. I vacillate between feeling like I should have a time goal and feeling like just finishing is rewarding enough. Not sure what I should be feeling, and likely won't figure it out by the time I cross the start line.

But, I love this, and I'll give it my best, and drag myself across the finish line if need be. I'm proud to be doing this, even if my time sucks. It was only a year ago that I found myself running my first marathon, after starting running only six months before, and being able to say, "I never stopped to walk." This, I think, is the same determination that'll carry me through tomorrow.

Good luck to everyone else with a race tomorrow or coming up!!